Ensuring Effective Communication Under the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines
One of the most important aspects of co-parenting is maintaining clear, respectful lines of communication. The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (IPTG) devote an entire section to the subject of communication—highlighting not only the forms communication can take, but also the rules, responsibilities, and spirit behind keeping both parents and children consistently connected. In this post, we’ll explore these guidelines in detail and provide practical tips for avoiding conflict, misunderstanding, or interference when it comes to co-parenting communications.
1. Communication Between Parents
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(1) – “Between Parents.”
Key IPTG Principle
Parents must keep each other informed of their contact information (home, work, email addresses, and phone numbers) and must update each other promptly of any changes. Any significant conversation regarding the child’s welfare, schedules, or plans should be conducted directly between the parents (not through the child).
Why It Matters
Conflict Prevention: Regular and clear communication helps avoid last-minute disputes over schedules, emergencies, and changes in the child’s routine.
Better Organization: Knowing each other’s up-to-date contact info ensures urgent messages—like school closures or health notifications—reach both parents promptly.
Child-Centered Focus: Keeping conversations direct (parent to parent) protects children from playing “messenger,” minimizing stress for them.
Practical Tips
Use Agreed-upon Channels: Whether you prefer text, email, co-parenting apps, or phone calls, agree on how you’ll regularly communicate.
Keep It Civil: Even when disagreements arise, maintain a respectful tone and stick to facts regarding the child.
Document Changes: Follow up on any verbal agreements with a brief text or email recap so both parents have a record.
2. Communication with a Child Generally
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(2) – “With a Child Generally.”
Key IPTG Principle
Children deserve the freedom to communicate privately and directly with each parent, without interference or being “used” by one parent to report on the other. Both parents should foster an environment of mutual respect, refraining from negative remarks about the other parent in or near the child’s presence.
Why It Matters
Emotional Well-Being: Children are sensitive to parental conflict and can feel stress when they sense hostility or are used to gather information.
Healthy Relationships: Encouraging the child to respect and love both parents builds a stronger bond and stable family dynamic—even after divorce or separation.
Practical Tips
Avoid Negative Talk: If you’re upset with the other parent, take that conversation out of the child’s earshot.
Don’t Use the Child as a Messenger: Send documents, updates, or financial details directly to the other parent.
Encourage Positive Relationships: Support your child’s desire to share exciting news or daily experiences with the other parent.
3. Telephone and Virtual Communication with the Child
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(3) – “With a Child by Telephone.”
Key IPTG Principle
Children are entitled to reasonable phone access (or other forms of real-time communication, such as video calls) with each parent. This should happen at reasonable hours, in reasonable durations, and at reasonable intervals. Neither parent should interfere, record, or block these communications—except under valid circumstances like punishment that does not prohibit parent-child contact.
Why It Matters
Consistency: Regular phone calls or video chats help maintain a strong bond, especially when in-person visits are limited.
Emotional Security: Knowing they can reach both parents provides children with a sense of stability.
Coordination: Phone or video chats can be a quick way to handle smaller daily matters without waiting for in-person exchanges.
Practical Tips
Establish a Communication Schedule: Decide on specific times for calls so your child is available and ready to talk.
Keep Calls Child-Focused: Encourage a relaxed conversation about the child’s day, homework, or upcoming events.
Respect Boundaries: If your co-parent requests limiting late-night or dinnertime calls, consider accommodating that for the child’s routine.
4. Mail and Other Written Communications
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(4) – “With a Child by Mail.”
Key IPTG Principle
Children and parents have the right to communicate privately via letters, cards, email, or text messages without interference. Any mail or packages sent to the child should be promptly delivered, and obstacles to mail communications should not be imposed.
Why It Matters
Privacy: Written letters or emails can be a comforting, personal channel—particularly for older children or teens.
Flexibility: Written communications don’t rely on a set schedule and can be read at the child’s convenience.
Keepsakes: Letters and cards can become cherished mementos, reinforcing a sense of connection over time.
Practical Tips
Avoid Filtering: Don’t hide, discard, or delay handing over letters or packages.
Set Up a Kid-Friendly Email: For older children, an email or co-parenting app can make it easy to reach out without going through the other parent’s phone.
Encourage Thank-You Notes: If a parent sends a package or gift, suggest your child write a quick thank-you note. It teaches gratitude and keeps positive communication flowing.
5. Emergency Notifications
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(6) – “Emergency Notification.”
Key IPTG Principle
When traveling out of the local area with your child, you must share an itinerary of dates, destinations, and where you (or a third party) can be reached. This ensures the other parent can quickly get in touch if emergencies arise.
Why It Matters
Child’s Safety: In case of health or personal emergencies, both parents need to know how to reach each other and the child.
Legal Protection: Failing to inform the other parent may be seen as violating the parenting plan.
Reassurance: Sharing a simple itinerary (or a contact person’s info) reduces anxiety for the parent who is not traveling.
Practical Tips
Provide Clear, Written Notices: A quick email with flight details, hotel phone numbers, or a third-party contact suffices.
Respond Quickly: If the other parent requests additional details, address those concerns promptly and politely.
Check Local Laws: If you’re traveling out of state or internationally, verify any specific travel restrictions or notice requirements.
6. Keeping Communication Positive and Open
IPTG Reference: Section I(A)(7) – “Communication between parent and child.”
Key IPTG Principle
Both parents must promote a positive relationship between the children and the other parent—enabling consistent and constructive communication. Interference with phone calls or letters, monitoring calls, or using the child as a messenger can lead to sanctions or changes in parenting time or custody.
Why It Matters
Healthy Co-Parenting Dynamic: Continuous negativity or surveillance undermines trust and can harm the child’s emotional well-being.
Legal Ramifications: Courts look unfavorably upon a parent who deliberately obstructs the child’s communication with the other parent.
Practical Tips
Collaborative Mindset: Approach co-parenting with a “team” perspective, recognizing the child’s best interests as the shared goal.
Seek Mediation: If you cannot see eye-to-eye on communication boundaries, a neutral third party (mediator or parenting coordinator) can help find workable solutions.
Document Problem Patterns: Keep records if there is consistent interference with your child’s communication. Such evidence can be vital in court if disputes escalate.
Conclusion: Building Bridges, Not Barriers
Open, respectful communication is the lifeblood of successful co-parenting. By following Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines on communications—whether through phone calls, texts, email, mail, or in-person discussions—parents can shield their children from unnecessary conflict and strengthen parent-child relationships.
Keep Each Other Informed: Share current phone numbers, emails, and addresses.
Allow Private Child-Parent Contact: Foster free and unmonitored communication.
Respect Boundaries & Schedules: Talk to your co-parent about acceptable call times and communication methods.
Stay Child-Focused: Communicate in a manner that supports the child’s emotional health and stability.
If you’re facing challenges with co-parenting communication or need clarity about how the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines apply to your situation, consult an experienced family law attorney. They can help mediate disputes, formalize communication plans, and ensure your child’s best interests remain the top priority.
Need Legal Guidance?
At Vining Legal, we understand the complexities of co-parenting. If you have questions or concerns about communications under the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines, contact us at (317) 759-3225 or fill out our online inquiry form. We’re here to help you navigate co-parenting with clarity and confidence.
