Tips for High Conflict Custody Cases

Your family may be going through changes that impact your children. It can be stressful for you, your children, and you may have no experience dealing with anything like this situation. What can you do if things take a turn and become hostile? It may seem like things will never improve. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help break up the hostility and improve communication. As a start I would recommend:

COMMUNICATE THROUGH A PARENTING TIME APPLICATION

Texting has made it so people can correspond quickly and without thinking. Sometimes you may be receiving messages from your ex at work or during all hours of the night. Cutting off all text communication may not necessarily be an option but 24/7 communication is too much. Fortunately, there is a middle ground that can be found that can be found through using a parenting time application. A parenting time application cuts off access and allows you to get notice that you have received a message that you can review and respond to on your own timeline. It also documents everything and helps slow the pace of communication so the parties are sending more thoughtful messages. Some even have a tone meter that suggests that you modify your message if it is worded in a hostile manner.

MEET AT A NEUTRAL LOCATION

Sometimes meeting at each others house can cause problems. If that is the case, I always recommend meeting at a natural location such as a fire station or grocery store.

DON’T COMMUNICATE THROUGH THIRD PARTIES

Unless there is a protective order in place or other safety issue, it is generally best to communicate with your ex directly and not through your new spouse/partner or other third party. Third parties may not know the communication history between you and your ex and they can add confusion where there may have been none if you communicated directly yourself.

MAKE IT ABOUT THE CHILDREN

It is generally best to keep your communication about the children and limited to things such as school, doctor information, and facilitating parenting time exchanges. Adding other information or negative commentary can inflame a hostile situation.

GET ADVICE FROM AN ATTORNEY

Are you arguing about parenting time exchanges? Frequency of communication? Interruptions at work? An attorney can help solve communication problems during a custody case. We can also help you seek court intervention if things cannot be improved informally.

SEEK COURT INTERVENTION

You can file for contempt or even modify a custody or parenting time order based on the conduct of the other party. With contempt, you would be seeking to have an existing order enforced - this could be for things related to parenting time or communication. With a modification, you may be seeking a reduction in parenting time or other help from the court regarding the ongoing conflict. It really all depends on your unique family situation.

Please give Vining Legal a call if you have questions or problems regarding communication in your custody case.